For White People, Who Are Feeling Troubled

For White People, Who Are Feeling Troubled

I’ve talked to a few white people lately who are feeling troubled about Trump, and white supremacists, and the world at large. I Googled “What to tell white people who are having a hard time” and nothing came up. It is said if what you want to read isn’t written, you should write it. In so many words, my white friends asked how to handle disillusionment. They’ve asked how to handle it. So here are my suggestions:

1. Stop reading all the news. You can be informed without being obsessed.
2. Do something! Like for real. You might feel less guilt if you organized or volunteered. Have real life conversations with people. Money is great but time matters.
3. Think about where you live, shop, eat, and drink. If it’s all white people, maybe you should find some other establishments.
4. See a “Black” movie or watch a Black TV Show. Suggestions: Queen Sugar, Insecure, Luke Cage, Power, Blackish, Atlanta.
5. Reckon with your own racial concept. Who are you as a white person? What biases do you have? How has privilege aided your life? Read some longer works and grapple. See the end of this post for suggested readings.
6. I’m not going to get into the other stuff, but remember, if this is all hard for you and I’m not saying it’s not, maybe try imagining what life is like for a person of color. Try checking on the people who are actually being hated. Send a Starbucks card to a person of color (Not me, another one). Or maybe take them out to dinner and talk about what the world has felt like forever and especially the last few years.
7. Look at the policies in your own community. Are they fair? Choose one and make it your issue. Call, write, agitate. Use your privilege!
8. Get some coping strategies. For real, for real, what if people of color fell apart like this every time disaster struck? Well, we wouldn’t have made it this far. Stop being so fragile. Feel your feelings but then let them go. Life is difficult, but there is plenty of good in the world. Plenty of reasons to smile. People you like are not in power but at the end of the day, you’re most likely safe. Either roll up your sleeves and do some work or find a way not mentioned here to deal with your feelings.

I say all this with love. It may be tough love, but it is love.

Resources:

White Anti-Racism

12 Ways to be a White Ally

Anit-Racism Alliance

Raising Race Questions

Black Lives Matter

A People’s History of the United States 

For White Folks Who Teach in The Hood and Other People Too

Podcast — Code Switch

Podcast — Pod Save the People

Podcast — It’s Been a Minute

Rambling on the 4th of July

I had a bunch of thoughts that seemed too long for Facebook or Instagram, so here you go.

Preamble:
When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for a celebration to occur I am usually ready; however, this year, I am just not feeling it. I can't get Bianca Roberson the girl in my new state murdered by a white man because he didn't like the way she merged onto the highway out of my head. There are the other deaths and examples of injustice as well. There is this NBC article about Sally Hemings wherein she was called Thomas Jefferson's "mistress." There is my Somalian student who is a native born citizen who is traveling the world; I'm proud of her for going but terrified they might not let her back into the country to start college in the fall.

Here are the other things too long for social media.

1. This interaction:
Through a series of circumstances, I had the privilege to help a Korean War veteran and his wife negotiate her wheelchair.  There is no other way than to say that they were both old but she was frail and he had surprising strength - he could lift her out of her wheelchair.  We talked about a few things, but the highlights for me were him telling me about meeting Coretta Scott King and his views on President Tr*mp. He also said he has lived under many presidents, but I was delighted when he said, "This current president is the least funny clown show I have ever seen." Even though he didn't have equal rights when he returned from the Korean War, what he talked to me about what was how he felt bad for the Vietnam vets and how is pretty sure we need to try to avoid any more wars because we are all tired of war.

2. This poem:
America
BY CLAUDE MCKAY
Although she feeds me bread of bitterness,
And sinks into my throat her tiger’s tooth,
Stealing my breath of life, I will confess
I love this cultured hell that tests my youth.
Her vigor flows like tides into my blood,
Giving me strength erect against her hate,
Her bigness sweeps my being like a flood.
Yet, as a rebel fronts a king in state,
I stand within her walls with not a shred
Of terror, malice, not a word of jeer.
Darkly I gaze into the days ahead,
And see her might and granite wonders there,
Beneath the touch of Time’s unerring hand,
Like priceless treasures sinking in the sand.

3. And this poem

The Song of the Feet

BY NIKKI GIOVANNI

It is appropriate that I sing
The song of the feet

The weight of the body
And what the body chooses to bear
Fall on me

I trampled the American wilderness
Forged frontier trails
Outran the mob in Tulsa
Got caught in Philadelphia

And am still unreparated

I soldiered on in Korea
Jungled through Vietnam sweated out Desert Storm
Caved my way through Afghanistan
Tunneled the World Trade Center

And on the worst day of my life
Walked behind JFK
Shouldered MLK
Stood embracing Sister Betty

I wiggle my toes
In the sands of time
Trusting the touch that controls my motion
Basking in the warmth of the embrace
Day’s end offers with warm salty water

It is appropriate I sing
The praise of the feet

I am a Black woman

---

Maybe if I read these poems a few more times and think about the way the vet didn't seem bitter I'll be able to enjoy a beer in some kind of peace this afternoon.