For White People, Who Are Feeling Troubled
I’ve talked to a few white people lately who are feeling troubled about Trump, and white supremacists, and the world at large. I Googled “What to tell white people who are having a hard time” and nothing came up. It is said if what you want to read isn’t written, you should write it. In so many words, my white friends asked how to handle disillusionment. They’ve asked how to handle it. So here are my suggestions:
- Stop reading all the news. You can be informed without being obsessed.
- Do something! Like for real. You might feel less guilt if you organized or volunteered. Have real life conversations with people. Money is great but time matters.
- Think about where you live, shop, eat, and drink. If it’s all white people, maybe you should find some other establishments.
- See a “Black” movie or watch a Black TV Show. Suggestions: Queen Sugar, Insecure, Luke Cage, Power, Blackish, Atlanta.
- Reckon with your own racial concept. Who are you as a white person? What biases do you have? How has privilege aided your life? Read some longer works and grapple. See the end of this post for suggested readings.
- I’m not going to get into the other stuff, but remember, if this is all hard for you and I’m not saying it’s not, maybe try imagining what life is like for a person of color. Try checking on the people who are actually being hated. Send a Starbucks card to a person of color (Not me, another one). Or maybe take them out to dinner and talk about what the world has felt like forever and especially the last few years.
- Look at the policies in your own community. Are they fair? Choose one and make it your issue. Call, write, agitate. Use your privilege!
- Get some coping strategies. For real, for real, what if people of color fell apart like this every time disaster struck? Well, we wouldn’t have made it this far. Stop being so fragile. Feel your feelings but then let them go. Life is difficult, but there is plenty of good in the world. Plenty of reasons to smile. People you like are not in power but at the end of the day, you’re most likely safe. Either roll up your sleeves and do some work or find a way not mentioned here to deal with your feelings.
I say all this with love. It may be tough love, but it is love.
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